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You don’t realize the self-loathing, and hatred a brother has for himself in his day to day life when he remembers what he does when no one is watching but Allah. Before i begin, let me say that in this story of my own descent into sin, i blame no one but myself. I am a brother between 25 and 30 with my own family who i love very much and I’ve been practising for many years. I don’t want to go into the details, but soon after i was introduced to pornography, i was hooked on it.I will deliberately be vague in some of what i say so that no one finds out who i am. What fanned the flames of desire was access to the internet.I deleted the porn saved on my PC and he tells me he did the same.By Allah’s Grace he is still going good, whereas, i have found it more difficult.I know how difficult it is to go through over 100 comments to find relevant information, so I thought it would be useful to collect some of the main points and gems from the readers.This is a very large post, so it is divided into the following sections (click to jump to desired section): As someone who is experiencing this fitnah, i can authoritatively tell you that most of your comments that discuss the reasons for why people like me fell into this sin are way off mark.
In some ways, my own story over the past 10 years mirrors that.During these years in which i have sinned I have also memorized 10 juz of the Qur’an: that didn’t come easily, nor without determination, and i would bet that is more than most people who are reading this. The most helpful solution overall i found was going cold turkey with the internet: cutting it off completely.I don’t know if that makes me a “better” porn addict than the next porn addict. It severely restricted my access to pornography, and though the addiction didn’t cut off completely, it was definitely a practical step in the right direction.Another problem was that my family resisted when i suggested that i marry in my early 20s.Thus, the absence of a halal outlet for this desire is another factor that has brought me to where i am now. Imam Anwar al-Awlaqi mentions it in one of his CD sets.